TRÁI TIM MẸ:  NƠI CON NƯƠNG NÁU - ĐƯỜNG ĐẾN VỚI CHÚA

"Chúa Giêsu muốn dùng con để làm cho Mẹ được nhận biết và yêu mến"

 

 

    July 28, 2009 -  Tuesday of Seventeenth Week of Ordinary Time   

 

LITURGICAL/THEME MEDITATION:

"The righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father"

UNIVERSAL CHURCH/WORLD EVENT(S):

Barack and Benedict XVI

SAINT OF THE DAY

St. Leopold Mandic

 GENERAL MARIOLOGY
THE DIVINE HISTORY AND LIFE OF THE VIRGIN MOTHER OF GOD

Book Four - Chapter VII 

THE PRESENTATION OF THE INFANT JESUS IN THE TEMPLE.

 DIVINE MERCY

Divine Mercy in My Soul

NOTEBOOK V

 TEACHING/TESTIMONY/CONVICTION:

Testimony of former abortion provider Joseph Randall, MD

 

DAILY LITURGICAL MEDITATION

 
 
Tuesday (7/28):  "The righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father"

Scripture:  Matthew 13:36-43

36 Then he left the crowds and went into the house. And his disciples came to him, saying, "Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the  field." 37 He answered, "He who sows the good seed is the Son of man; 38 the field is the world, and the good seed means the sons of the kingdom; the weeds are the sons of the evil one, 39 and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the close of the age, and the reapers are angels. 40 Just as the weeds are gathered and burned with fire, so will it be at the close of the age. 41 The Son of man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers, 42 and throw them into the furnace of fire; there men will weep and gnash their teeth. 43 Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears, let him hear.

Meditation: Are you quick to judge the faults of others? Jesus’ parable teaches us patience lest we judge before the time is right. Jesus also warns that there is an enemy who seeks to destroy the good seed of his word before it can bear fruit. Both good and evil can be sown in our hearts like tiny seeds which germinate, and in due time yield a harvest of good or bad fruit. We must stand guard lest evil take root in our hearts and corrupt us. Charles Read said: “Sow an act and you reap a habit.  Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny.” In the day of judgment each will reap what he or she has sown in this life. Those who sow good will shine in the kingdom of their Father. They will radiate with the beauty, joy, and fulness of God’s love. Do you allow the love of Christ to rule in your heart and in your actions?

"Lord Jesus, may your all-consuming love rule in my heart and transform my life that I may sow what is good, worthy, and pleasing to you.”

Psalm 79:8-13

8 Do not remember against us the iniquities of our forefathers; let thy compassion come speedily to meet us, for we are brought very low.
9 Help us, O God of our salvation, for the glory of thy name;  deliver us, and forgive our sins, for thy name's sake!
10 Why should the nations say, "Where is their God?"  Let the avenging of the outpoured blood of thy servants  be known among the nations before our eyes!
11 Let the groans of the prisoners come before thee; according to thy great power preserve those doomed to die!
12 Return sevenfold into the bosom of our neighbors the taunts with which they have taunted thee, O Lord!
13 Then we thy people, the flock of thy pasture, will give thanks to thee for ever;  from generation to generation we will recount thy praise.
 

www.dailyscripture.net
 

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UNIVERSAL CHURCH/WORLD EVENTS

Barack and Benedict XVI


The Vatican's Approach to a Problem Like Obama
 
By Robert Moynihan

ROME, JULY 27, 2009 (Zenit.org).- I first walked through Bernini's colonnade in May 1984. I was going to the Vatican Library to do research for a dissertation in medieval history.

By chance, my topic was very similar to the topic Joseph Ratzinger, now Benedict XVI, chose for his post-doctoral dissertation, "The Theology of History in St. Bonaventure," and this gave me material for conversation when I met with Ratzinger on several occasions in the 1980s and 1990s.

On my very first visit to the Vatican library, I met a young scholar named Paolo Vian, son of the renowned Italian Catholic scholar, Nello Vian. Paolo graciously "showed me the ropes" during that summer at the library, helping me enormously.

I soon met Paolo's older brother, Gian Maria Vian, then a young professor of patristics at the University of Rome, and also a "Vaticanista," reporting for the daily paper of the Italian bishops' conference, Avvenire -- the same Gian Maria Vian who today is the controversial editor of L'Osservatore Romano, known as the "Pope's newspaper."

In the years that followed, I had many occasions to talk with Gian Maria, a man of wide culture and ready wit, and I occasionally dined at his home with him and his wife (she suffered a long, debilitating disease, and sadly passed away several years ago).

So I have known Gian Maria Vian for 25 years, and can call him my friend. Indeed, I saw him several times during July in Rome, and we were able to speak at length.

Controversy

The editor's recent positive attitude toward Obama has put Vian at the center of several critical debates in Catholicism today, and has led many to question even the "Catholicity" of L'Osservatore Romano.

In a series of articles this year, Vian and writers he chose have argued that Obama does not seem as much of a pro-abortion president as had been feared.

This has raised eyebrows among those active in the pro-life cause -- and sparked anger.

At the time of the emotionally charged debate over Obama's commencement address May 17 at Notre Dame, which was protested by over 80 U.S. bishops and boycotted by former U.S. Ambassador Mary Ann Glendon because of Obama's extreme pro-abortion record, Vian justified his more lenient position on the president: "We have noticed that his (Obama's) entire program prior to his election was more radical than it is revealing itself to be now that he is president. So this is what I meant when I said he didn't sound like a pro-abortion president."

U.S. Catholic theologian Michael Novak described Vian's pro-Obama position as "star struck" and "teenage," and said that Vian's political perspective seems "like a blind observer of faraway events -- completely ignorant."

Vian defends himself by saying that the paper is adopting a "waiting and seeing" policy. He said, "We hope that Obama does not follow pro-choice politics; not because we want him to follow Catholic politics, but because we hope and want Obama to guide politics at the service of the weakest, and the weakest are the unborn, the embryos."

Have Vian, and the Vatican, been downplaying Obama's vehemently pro-abortion voting record and the pro-abortion record of his administration for "tactical" reasons? And, is such a position morally defensible?

More color!

Benedict XVI chose Vian to take over the editorship of L'Osservatore Romano in 2007.

Until two years ago, the paper's relationship to the Vatican was like that of Pravda to the Kremlin in the old U.S.S.R.

I remember how I and the other Vatican journalists would always look eagerly for articles signed only by three asterisks -- that was the not-so-secret "code" that those articles were "authoritative," approved at the very highest level of the Vatican.

But the rest of the paper was -- sorry to say -- boring.

"When I took over the paper," Vian says, "the Pope wrote me a letter in which he said that L'Osservatore had to be present in the cultural debate. The Pope asked me for more international coverage, more attention to the Christian East, and more space for women."

So, Vian hired L'Osservatore's first-ever female staffer.

And he adds: "When the deputy editor and I were invited to see the Pope to talk a bit about the paper three weeks after we were appointed, he gave us to understand that he'd like to see a few more pictures in it."

Vian decided to use color photographs every day on the front and back. But the new editor's impact has been most significant in the paper's content.

The big picture

A month before President Obama's scheduled visit to see the Pope on July 10, Vian published an editorial that took a positive view of Obama's first 100 days.

Conservative Catholics in the United States and elsewhere were appalled that, despite Obama's moves to provide greater access to abortion and stem-cell research, the paper was not denouncing Obama. There were calls for Vian to resign.

When I spoke with Vian a few days ago, I asked him about this controversy. He told me that he still has the "full support" of the Vatican's Secretariat of State. (In fact, Vian is a personal friend of Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Pope's secretary of state.)

What can explain Vian's position -- and, by implication, the position of the Secretariat of State, and, perhaps, of the Pope himself?

Vian told me that the "big picture" needs to be kept in mind, that the Holy See's agenda, while always and unswervingly pro-life, nevertheless includes many other issues, such as social justice, disarmament, the Middle East and Cuba.

Vian's position illustrates the considerable differences between the European and American viewpoints on many critical issues of our time. The Europeans (like Vian) focus on points of agreement, and the Americans (like Vian's critics) focus on points of disagreement.

I do think Vian -- and even the Secretariat of State -- may be "naïve" about Obama and his intentions.

But I also believe that Americans can become so intent on one grave moral injustice (abortion and the manipulation of human embryos, both of which are always profoundly wrong) that they can ignore other areas of possible agreement.

Is it possible to find a balanced solution, giving proper weight to both points of agreement and disagreement?

The Papal way

The best approach may be the one chosen by Benedict XVI himself in his meeting with Obama on July 10.

I was in the Vatican on that occasion. I saw Obama as he stepped out of his car, and I attended the press conference after the meeting was over.

And two points were clear: the Pope was receiving Obama with warm friendship, and yet, he was not compromising the truth of the Church's teaching about life. In fact, he made it a special point to hand the president a Vatican document which explains in detail the reasoning behind the Church's teaching that abortion is always wrong, and experimentation on human embryos is always a violation of the dignity of human life.

The booklet, "Dignitas Personae" (dignity of a person), condemns artificial fertilization and other techniques used by many couples, and also says human cloning, "designer babies" and embryonic stem-cell research are immoral.

The document defends life from conception to natural death, and a Vatican statement issued after the meeting said the topics discussed included "the defense and promotion of life and the right to abide by one's conscience."

The Pope's private secretary told reporters after the meeting: "This reading can help the president better understand the Church's position on these issues."

We do not know if Obama has read that booklet. (That is something I would like to know, because the arguments in that booklet are compelling.)

The point is, the possibility of reaching Obama with a reasoned argument in defense of life was increased by the way Vian presented Obama's position during the spring. Obama was entering the Vatican on July 10, not as an enemy, but as a human being, to whom the Pope could appeal as one man to another.

Naïve? Perhaps. Time will tell. And the Church will be ready to defend her beliefs if Obama makes clear that he will persist on a course that is directly opposed to those teachings.

Interestingly, on July 23, it was reported that Obama's health care legislation may be held up due to the opposition of a group of conservative Democrats in the U.S. House who have vowed not to vote for any bill that doesn't include explicit language banning the use of federal funds for abortion.

They, as well as most Republicans, charge that abortions will otherwise increase if more women have insurance coverage that pays for the procedure.

Obama, when asked if he would favor federally subsidized insurance plans that covered abortion, said, "As you know, I'm pro-choice. But I think we also have the tradition of, in this town, historically, of not financing abortions as part of government-funded health care."

Hearing this, pro-choice activists are concerned. "We're certainly worried," says Marilyn Keefe, director of reproductive health programs at the National Partnership for Women and Families. "Abortion is basic healthcare for women. We're worried about the possibility that existing coverage will be rolled back."

Perhaps the Pope's meeting with Obama had some good effect.

* * *

Robert Moynihan is founder and editor of the monthly magazine Inside the Vatican. He is the author of the book "Let God's Light Shine Forth: the Spiritual Vision of Pope Benedict XVI" (2005, Doubleday). Moynihan's blog can be found at insidethevatican.com. He can be reached at: editor@insidethevatican.com

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DAILY LITURGICAL SAINT

   

July 28, 2009

St. Leopold Mandic

(1887-1942)

Western Christians who are working for greater dialogue with Orthodox Christians may be reaping the fruits of Father Leopold’s prayers.

A native of Croatia, Leopold joined the Capuchin Franciscans and was ordained several years later in spite of several health problems. He could not speak loudly enough to preach publicly. For many years he also suffered from severe arthritis, poor eyesight and a stomach ailment.

Leopold taught patrology, the study of the Church Fathers, to the clerics of his province for several years, but he is best known for his work in the confessional, where he sometimes spent 13-15 hours a day. Several bishops sought out his spiritual advice.

Leopold’s dream was to go to the Orthodox Christians and work for the reunion of Roman Catholicism and Orthodoxy. His health never permitted it. Leopold often renewed his vow to go to the Eastern Christians; the cause of unity was constantly in his prayers.

At a time when Pope Pius XII said that the greatest sin of our time is "to have lost all sense of sin," Leopold had a profound sense of sin and an even firmer sense of God’s grace awaiting human cooperation.

Leopold, who lived most of his life in Padua, died on July 30, 1942, and was canonized in 1982.

Comment:

St. Francis advised his followers to "pursue what they must desire above all things, to have the Spirit of the Lord and His holy manner of working" (Rule of 1223, Chapter 10)—words that Leopold lived out. When the Capuchin minister general wrote his friars on the occasion of Leopold’s beatification, he said that this friar’s life showed "the priority of that which is essential."

Quote:

Leopold used to repeat to himself: “Remember that you have been sent for the salvation of people, not because of your own merits, since it is the Lord Jesus and not you who died for the salvation of souls.... I must cooperate with the divine goodness of our Lord who has deigned to choose me so that by my ministry, the divine promise would be fulfilled: ‘There will be only one flock and one shepherd’” (John 10:16).

  http://www.americancatholic.org/Features/SaintofDay

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GENERAL MARIOLOGY


 

THE DIVINE HISTORY AND LIFE

OF THE

VIRGIN MOTHER OF GOD

BOOK FOUR

Describing the Anxieties of Saint Joseph on Account of the Pregnancy of

Most Holy Mary,the Birth of Christ our Lord, His Circumcision,the

Adoration of the Kings, the Presentation of the Infant Jesus

In the Temple, the Flight into Egypt, the Death of the

Holy Innocents, and the Return to Nazareth.

CHAPTER IX.

THE SWEET INTERCOURSE OF JESUS AND MARY; THEIR

RETURN FROM EGYPT.

On these occasions it often happened that the Child Jesus in the presence of his most holy Mother wept and perspired blood, for this happened many times before his agony in the garden. Then the blessed Lady would wipe his face interiorly perceiving and knowing the cause of this agony, namely the loss of the foreknown and of those who would be ungrateful for the benefits of their Creator and Redeemer and in whom the works of the infinite power and goodness of the Lord would be wasted. At other times the blessed Mother would find Him refulgent with heavenly light and surrounded by angels that sang sweet hymns of praise; and She was made aware, that the heavenly Father was pleased in his beloved and Onlybegotten Son (Matth. 17, 5). All these wonders commenced from the time when at the age of one year He began to walk, witnessed only by his most holy Mother, whose heart was to be the treasure-house of his wonders. The works of love, praise and worshipful gratitude, his petitions for the human race, all exceed my ability to describe. I must refer the understanding of it to the faith and piety of the Christians.

Many of the children of Heliopolis gathered around the Child Jesus, as it is natural with children of similar age and condition. Since they were free from great malice and were not given to inquire, whether He was more than man, but freely admitted the heavenly light, the Master of truth welcomed them as far as was befitting. He instilled into them the knowledge of God and of the virtues; He taught and catechised them in the way of eternal life, even more abundantly than the adults. As his words were full of life and strength. He won their hearts and impressed his truths so deeply upon them, that all those, who had this good fortune, afterwards became great and saintly men; for in the course of time they ripened in themselves the fruit of this heavenly seed sown so early into their souls.

The Child Jesus reached the end of his seventh year while in Egypt, which was also the term set by the eternal Wisdom for his mysterious sojourn in that land. In order that the prophecies might he fulfilled, it was necessary that He return to Nazareth. This decree the eternal Father intimated to his most holy Son on a certain day in the presence of his holy Mother and while She was with Him in prayer. She saw it mirrored in his deified soul and She saw how He submitted to it in obedience to the Father. Therein the great Lady joined Him, although they had already become better acquainted and habituated to their present abode than to their own native city of Nazareth. Neither the Mother nor the Son made known to saint Joseph this new decree of heaven. But in that very night the angel of the Lord spoke to him in his sleep, as Matthew relates (Matth. 2, 19), and bade him take the Child and its Mother and return to the land of Israel for Herod and those who with him had sought the life of the Child, were dead. So much value does the Almighty set on the proper order in created things, that, though Jesus was the true God and his Mother so highly exalted above saint Joseph in sanctity, He did not permit the arrangements of this journey to proceed from his Son nor from his Mother, but from saint Joseph, who was the head of this Family. God intended to teach all mortals, that He wishes all things to be governed by the natural order set up by his Providence; and that the inferiors and subjects of the mystical body of the Church, even though they may excel in virtue and in certain other respects, must obey and submit to their superiors and prelates in the visible order.

 
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DIVINE MERCY

 

Divine Mercy In my soul
 

The Mercy of the Lord I will sing Forever.
Divine Mercy in my soul.
Sr. Faustina, Diary
 

NOTEBOOK V

November 1937. Monthly one-day retreat.
In the course of this retreat, the Lord has given me the light to know His will more profoundly and to abandon myself completely to the holy will of God. This light has confirmed me in profound peace, making me understand that I should fear nothing except sin. Whatever God sends me, I accept with complete submission to His holy will. Wherever He puts me, I will try faithfully to do His holy will, as well as His wishes, to the extent of my power to do so, even if the will of God were to be as hard and difficult for me as was the will of the heavenly Father for His Son, as He prayed in the Garden of Olives. I have come to see that if the will of the Heavenly Father was fulfilled in this way in His well beloved Son, it will be fulfilled in us in exactly the same way: by suffering, persecution, abuse, disgrace. It is through all this that my soul becomes like unto Jesus. And the greater the sufferings, the more I see that I am becoming like Jesus. This is the surest way. If some other way were better, Jesus would have shown it to me. Sufferings in no way take away my peace. On the other hands, although I enjoy profound peace, that peace does not lessen my experience of suffering. Although my face is often bowed to the ground, and my tears flow profusely, at the same time my soul is filled with profound peace and happiness…

I want to hide myself in Your most Merciful Heart as a dewdrop does in a flower blossom. Enclose me in this blossom against the frost of the world. No one can conceive the happiness which my heart enjoys in its solitude, alone with God.

Today I heard a voice in my soul: oh, if sinners knew My mercy, they would not perish in such great numbers. Tell sinful souls not to be afraid to approach Me; speak to them of My great mercy.

The Lord said to me, The loss of each soul plunges Me into mortal sadness. You always console Me when you pray for sinners. The prayer most pleasing to Me is prayer for the conversion of sinners. Know, My daughter, that this prayer is always heard and answered.

Advent is approaching. I want to prepare my heart for the coming of the Lord Jesus by silence and recollection of spirit, uniting myself with the Most Holy Mother and faithfully imitating Her virtue of silence, by which She found pleasure in the eyes of God himself. I trust that, by Her side, I will persevere in this resolution.

When I entered the chapel for a moment in the evening, I felt a terrible thorn in my head. This lasted for a short time, but the pricking was so painful that in an instant my head dropped onto the communion rail. It seemed to me that the thorn had thrust itself into my brain. But all this is nothing; it is all for the sake of souls, to obtain God’s mercy for them.

I live from one hour to the next and am not able to get along in any other way. I want to make the best possible use of the present moment, faithfully accomplishing everything that it gives me. In all things, I depend on God with unwavering trust.

Yesterday I received a letter from Father Sopocko. I learned that God’s work is progressing, however slowly. I am very happy about this, and I have redoubled my prayers for this entire work. I have come to learn that, for the present, so far as my participation in the work is concerned, the Lord is asking for prayer and sacrifice. Action on my part could indeed thwart God’s plans, as Father Sopocko wrote in yesterday’s letter. O my Jesus, grant me the grace to be an obedient instrument in Your hands. I have learned from this letter how great is the light which God grants to this priest. This confirms me in the conviction that God will carry out this work through him despite the mounting obstacles. I know well that the greater and the more beautiful the work is, the more terrible will be the storms that rage against it.

God, in his unfathomable decrees, often allows it to be that those who have expended most effort in accomplishing some work do not enjoy its fruit here on earth; God reserves all their joy for eternity. But for all that, God sometimes lets them know how much their efforts please Him. And such moments strengthen them for further struggles and ordeals. These are the souls that bear closest resemblance to the Savior who, in the work which He founded here on earth, tasted nothing but bitterness.

O my Jesus, may You be blessed for everything! I rejoice that Your most Holy will is being accomplished. That is quite enough to make me happy.

Hidden Jesus, in You lies all my strength. From my most tender years, the Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament has attracted me to Himself. Once, when I was seven years old, at a Vesper service, conducted before the Lord Jesus in the Monstrance, the love of God was imparted to me for the first time and filled my little heart; and the Lord give me understanding of divine things. From that day until this, my love for the hidden God has been growing constantly to the point of closest intimacy. All the strength of my soul flows from the Blessed Sacrament. I spend all my free moments in conversation with Him. He is my Master.



 

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 CATHOLIC  TEACHING/CONVICTION/TESTIMONY

 

 Testimony of former abortion provider Joseph Randall, MD

(This testimony was originally given at a "Meet the Abortion Providers" workshop sponsored by the Pro-life Action League of Chicago, directed by Joe Scheidler. Priests for Life offers their video, "Inside the Abortion Industry," containing excerpts of the testimonies of many former providers. Contact us for more details.) 

(continued)

But things gradually changed--new technology came along; we developed the suction procedure, and things went much quicker. It wasn't as bloody and it was quicker and it was a little bit easier to take. I can't really say that any of us had nightmares about this thing at that time. We just felt kind of uncomfortable doing them. But when the suction came along, we did them quicker, and then we did five or six in a day. Then gradually, those panels dropped by the wayside. We were doing too many to really have them go through this arduous, long process of evaluation, and then the reasons, of course, for abortion--the severity of the reasons, medically, became less and less, and then emotional problems needed to be less and less severe. It was a gradual desensitization, so to speak, or toleration of doing them, more and more and in larger numbers. Then we advanced up along in pregnancy a little bit further. It used to be we didn't go beyond about ten weeks. Then we want up to 12 and we kind of stayed there for a while.

The media was very active early on. It really probably was one of the major influences to us. It told us that abortion was number one, legal, that it was to serve women, it was to give women a choice, more or less give them a freedom to grow and to take their rightful place in society where they had been kind of pushed down prior to that. We believed the lie that there were tens of thousands of women being maimed and killed from illegal abortions prior to the legalization of abortion law. It kind of made things feel a little bit better. By this time, since we were doing five or six a day, it didn't bother us as much.

In my life at this time, too, I had become married and I had moved, back in 1973, from Albany down to Atlanta, Georgia, with the Army--Uncle Sam got me. I spent two years there at Fort McPherson in Atlanta Georgia. During that time, I had one baby; then I had another baby, and I have two boys. I also began working in abortion clinics. That was the newest thing. There were like seven or eight of them at that time in Atlanta. I had been moonlighting at other times to make money to save to go into practice, because going into practice is expensive for a young doctor, and you needed to save your money in order to do that, so the clinics offered an easy way to make money. Prior to that, I had to do insurance physicals, and I had to travel all over the countryside to do them, so that didn't really pay off too well. I had to go down and work in Emergency Rooms a hundred miles away for 36, 48 hours at a time; up all that time working. And they didn't pay me, maybe a few hundred dollars for doing that, so that wasn't going to amount to much. In the clinic, I could make $25.00 for each abortion case, but we did 20 or 30 of those some days, and I remember one day, when they really got going, we did 62. That was my high point, or, you might say, low point. So you could make a great deal of money doing the abortions, it became quite evident. Through my industriousness and my skill, I was sort of appointed by the medical director of the clinic to more or less take over the running of the clinic from the medical perspective and I, myself, became the medical director of a clinic there.

Something was happening to me also at that time, emotionally, though. As it has been spoken about, I could do an abortion--rather, I could do several hours of abortions--and feel nothing. I was just a good technician. I think at the most, I would get a little bit of a charge out of the fact that women occasionally would thank me for doing the abortion. They were really relieved of the pressure that that would have brought on to their lives. But, for the most part, I didn't think much of it at all at that time. It wasn't until I became divorced and began really searching for something more. It was sort of like, here I was a doctor; I was making a lot of money; but what did I have? There must be more to life than this. I sort of had this searching feeling from inside of me. Something was not there. Something was missing. I thought at first it might be love, you know. So you take that to its natural extreme--I had a relationship with a woman outside the marriage--and the marriage broke up, and I became divorced. The sad part, of course, was that two little boys lost a father in the case. But still, I was determined. I felt that this time, I finally had it made--here I was, a bachelor doctor in Atlanta, Georgia, with just everything before me. I got all the women I wanted, and all the good times, life in the fast lane, so to speak. I really felt that I had it made, but I still had this gnawing sort of emptiness inside.

What happened then was a Christian girl came into my life and influenced me, basically. The reason she came into my life to start with is because the only prerequisite that I had for dating somebody was that they looked good. She happened to look good. So with that great motivation, the Lord twisted that around. She broke up with me, but on doing so, she gave me two Scriptures. Now that should have, under this influence, had absolutely no influence on this guy at all. You have to picture me now. I was a bachelor doctor; I had an Afro and a beard that made my face look rather round all the way; I had a leather jacket from K-Mart--it wasn't really leather, but it looked good, and I looked tough and I took Karate to prove it. I had a motorcycle, too, of course. You have to have a motorcycle with a jacket.

So this is this person here. Why this Christian ever dated me, I have no idea, but God did. She gave me two Scriptures--Jeremiah 15 and Psalm 139:13-18, well known to a lot of people. I had not read the Bible for years--you know that--and I hadn't. But for some reason, these Scriptures meant something to me. Now, she knew I had done abortions and felt terrible about them and this was to hopefully change my mind, and I kind of laughed.

But when I read them, I didn't laugh because it was just as if there was a knife that went right through my middle and it made me realize that instead of serving women, I was killing babies. This slowed this super-macho guy down real quick. But, it didn't stop me from doing the abortions. What those Scriptures say, briefly, and meant to me, is that God knew us before we were conceived (me, before I was conceived--all the babies I ever killed, before they were conceived), He had plans for their lives and they became human beings to me, in the truest sense of the word--they became babies, they became children, really, in a deeper sense than ever before. So, what they did to me was they made me feel uncomfortable doing the abortions. I just plain felt uncomfortable doing them. The Lord knew this.

At the same time, He knew that I was going to be starting to do these D&E procedures, because just at that time the D&E procedures were starting up in the clinic. Now, as you have heard about these, the babies are bigger. They are visible, they are fully-formed babies, and you are tearing them apart from below. I was experienced--I had done many, many thousands by then--so I was sent to Chicago to learn this procedure, and I did, because no one else knew how to do them safely. So, I did them and I started doing them, and then I really started feeling uncomfortable.

(to be continued)

 

 

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